Emotionally Charged Communication
Emotionally charged conversations with family members, friends, or clinicians are often very transactional; something needs to be communicated and something needs to be gained from these interactions. This context will always ask for more directness. However, a critical point to remember is that a fundamental part of being human is the need to be seen and heard in the context of communication.
For that reason, the mode of communication for these topics can be a very powerful way to express the many aspects of what you may be feeling. Examples include poetry, works of fiction, or even making your point through analogies. Humans are gifted in that we have multiple ways of communicating the same point. The need to express yourself and explore the human experience is an art, and it should by no means be discarded. Even if you’re trying to stay true to fact or direct, I would still point you to works of fiction and metaphors.Often, these forms of communication can be cathartic and help us understand and fully express the complexities of what we are feeling in difficult moments.
What to Do When You’re Not Being Heard By Your Doctor?
This is very common, especially in this day and age with medicine being more about computer data entry than actually sitting down and talking one-on-one to a person. All the stressors of the healthcare system combined with a lack of education and training on the mechanics of communication and difficult subject matter have led to more clinicians not able to effectively listen to their patients. This is a huge problem. Ultimately, as unfair as it may seem, you as the patient will have to be the one to initiate this process with your provider. I would coach you to say something such as, “Hey Doc, I know you are busy and that I am not your only patient, but I really need you to be present with me right now. I have some issues that I need to share with you and I need you to hear me because this is very important to me.”
This self advocacy may be asking a lot, but the alternative is to go down treatment pathways based on false assumptions. Ultimately, It shouldn’t be the patient’s responsibility at all. The professional should be able to lead these interactions well. Since this is not always the case, however, it is imperative that patients and caregivers speak up in clinical settings, ask their care teams to be present with them, and even ask them to repeat what they’re saying to them if they feel they are not being heard.
Contextualize the Conversation
Part of the mechanics of setting the table for the conversation is to contextualize it; to frame the conversation. You can set the table both by tone and tenor in how you contextualize the conversation.
Communicating is Difficult, but Difficulties Can Lead to Understanding
Communication is hard and conflict is tough but oftentimes conflict can lead to connection. If you dare to err and deal with the conflict directly, this could potentially lead to a strong bond.
