Defining the Role of Caregiver
Those of us who have been around caregiving know that it flows in both directions; caregiving and care-receiving go together. There’s the patient, then there’s the caregiver, but that makes it sound like it’s a sort of a one-way street. Caregiving flows in both directions.
So, what does this role of a caregiver mean? Well, literally, you are providing care for someone. This may be someone you love. This may be someone to whom you feel an obligation or debt. This may be someone you don’t feel you have any choice but to care for. This may be someone you get paid to care for, or a combination of all of the above. Of course, each of those dynamics may have a different color and flavor. It will be unique to the dynamic between you and the person you’re caring for.
In general, in our context of serious illness and chronic illness, caregiving is going to be a relatively long engagement. We are living longer and longer with serious illnesses, often months or even years. There are between 45 and 50 million informal caregivers in this country, informal meaning unpaid. And a lot of these caregivers are also trying to hold down jobs and tend to their own kids or their own money, or their own marriages, etc., so it gets very complicated, and this is one of those smoldering issues the US and healthcare system doesn’t really address. There is a big need and no training or regulatory function around this stuff.
What we’re talking about here is the psychological frame. We can’t see caregiving in purely sacrificial terms. Maybe you can do that for a day or a week and bite your lip and put the rest of your life on hold but for the most part that doesn’t fly for very long. We have to find a way to make caregiving part of your daily routine in your life and consider how you care for yourself too.
Caregiving is not a one and done subject. It is a living subject that is complicated and needs to move with people over time.
It’s a big deal to become a caregiver. Not everyone lights up when they hear the word “caregiver,” or when we use the word “patient” for the person actually receiving care. But care goes in both directions. It is a difficult, but almost always very enriching role to take on. There’s a spirit to caregiving when it’s done well that you inhabit. There are roughly 50 million caregivers in the US. which means that 50 million people are taking care of someone at home, and many of those people are also trying to hold down a job too.
